Lil Johnny Jokes

[thelufias]

The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

"Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me."

"Can you tell me what comes after three?"

"Four," answers little Johnny.

"What comes after six?"

"Seven," answers little Johnny.

"Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job.

What comes after ten?"

"A jack," answers little Johnny.

[thelufias]

An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat.

The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man, unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor.

Little Johnny, sitting nearby, looked down at him and said, "If you put a little rubber cap on the end of your cane, you wouldn't fall like that.

The old man looked up and replied, "If your daddy had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus."

[Chiron]

Before Little Johnny grows too old...

"Mom, Mom, I don't want to go to America! It's so far away..."

"Shut up Johnny, save your breath and swim!"

(obviously an European Little Johnny from the time when immigration was still possible...)

[thelufias]

LOLOL.....Good One....

[Chiron]

"Mom, the boys at school make fun of me all the time! They say I sleep in a coffin!"

"Let them talk Johnny, they're just envious..."

"But today George called me Dracula's offspring!"

"Oh c'mon dear, you know it isn't true! Now be a good boy and eat your soup before it clots."

[thelufias]

Bwaaaahaaahaaa.......Good one....

[thelufias]

A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.

A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."

The teacher says, "No, I said, fascinate."

Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life."

The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate."

Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."

[Jherrith]

[thelufias]

Little Mary came back home after school and said,

"Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!"

"And how did this happen?"  the mother asked indignantly,  but in surprise.

"It wasn't easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him down until he kissed me."

[Chiron]

One night Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents’ bedroom. He stares for a minute and then shakes his head, disgusted:

"And they keep telling me not to pick my nose!!!"