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Fafnir

2024 Mar 28 06:20:23
 :easter5:
 

vash99

2024 Mar 27 10:19:38
yeah well at least the chemo my doctor suggested is a lot less harsh than when my mom had it
 

Radkres

2024 Mar 26 10:42:06
I Hope You Come up Negative on Cancer! Chemo is no Fun!  :3flower;
 

vash99

2024 Mar 26 10:14:09
i did the doctor was slightly concerned but its already fading i go back to work next week with limitations and a referral to an oncologist for blood work and possible chemo
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 26 12:06:16
Any bruising should be reported to your Doctor if you didn't know how it got there.
 

vash99

2024 Mar 23 11:02:10
i do im always walking around this part of town it helps but yesterday i saw a big bruise on my abdomen its already fading but it caught me off guard
 

Radkres

2024 Mar 22 12:27:16
Reminder Do Your Home Work Too! Do Not Be My Aunt Who Does nothing unless they are standing There!  :hug:
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 22 09:20:19
That's a good thing vash...they push you...but it's worth it in the end.
 

vash99

2024 Mar 21 09:34:30
im going to msc in olive branch this weekend for me its physical therapy
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 21 04:14:51
Snow Tomorrow....we shall see....if not....we won't see
 

vash99

2024 Mar 19 09:59:20
 :havesum:
 

Fafnir

2024 Mar 19 05:36:57
 :toast:
 

Pommerlis

2024 Mar 19 04:54:08
Renovating is hard work!
 

vash99

2024 Mar 18 09:45:35
the food is overseasoned and they wake u up every two hours to check vitals, blood test , give the occasional tylonol  i got more sleep in one night home last night than four days in the hospital lolon another note i found the fifth incision its a lot longer than the rest and it stings
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 18 10:49:35
I know what you mean Vash...They wake you up to give you a sleeping pill LOL

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Giveaway of the Day

Giveaway of the Day

Author Topic: Lil Johnny Jokes  (Read 15470 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Chiron

  • Guest
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2018, 08:40:11 AM »
One morning at school:

"Now, who is going to give me a sentence using the word 'geometry'?"

The whole class stays silent for a while, then little Johnny raises his hand:

"A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said 'Gee, I'm a tree! About time!' "

Chiron

  • Guest
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2018, 08:50:14 AM »
Little Johnny's Dad takes him aside and asks him discretely if he already knows those things about birds and bees.

"I don't want to know!" snaps Little Johnny, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks him what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus! Then, no Easter Bunny! And then no Tooth Fairy! If you're about to tell me now that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"

Chiron

  • Guest
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2018, 11:37:49 AM »
The teacher asks the class:

"Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny raises his hand:
"None!"

"Now listen carefully: four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

"
None."

"Johnny, would you care to explain that answer?"

"
Sure: one is shot, the others fly away. So there are none left."

"Well... that isn't really the correct answer, but I like the way you think."

"
Ms. Brambley, can I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"
There are three women in the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"

"Mmmh... the one that sucks the cone?"

"
No, the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."

Chiron

  • Guest
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2018, 03:12:25 PM »
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows the numbers.

"Yes," he says. "my daddy taught me."

"Good! Can you tell me what comes after three?"

"Four."

"And what comes after six?"

"
Seven."


"Very good!" approves the teacher.
"Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?"

"
The jack."

Online thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2018, 08:23:46 PM »
LOLOL.....Awesome ones Chiron........Glad someone else is chipping in......

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #15 on: February 13, 2018, 08:28:36 PM »
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months."
Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2018, 08:30:06 PM »
Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," says his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,
"It's okay, we can play that game again!"

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2018, 08:31:16 PM »
A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.
At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.
"Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.

Chiron

  • Guest
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #18 on: February 14, 2018, 01:37:26 AM »
Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," says his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,
"It's okay, we can play that game again!"


There's an adult version as well...

"Mommy, can a 5 year old girl have babies?"

"Why Johnny, certainly not! Why are you asking?"


Little Johnny doesn't answer and stares in the void, gloomy and upset.

"Johnny, what's up? Tell your Mommy!"

"
Well... that f**king little bitch made me sell my tricycle to pay for the abortion!"

Chiron

  • Guest
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #19 on: February 14, 2018, 01:45:53 AM »
Little Johnny is digging a hole in his backyard.
The neighbor looks at him over the fence, curious.


"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?"

"
My goldfish is dead, I'm gonna bury him."

"Wow, that's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

"
That's because he's inside your cat!"

 

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