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It's that time of year when Treats come before Tricks
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30 collected so far

 In my paws

 Aelin -- Chiron
M-Callahan
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Barbariandreams
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midnightvelvet -- Eblank
UteBigSmile -- SemiCharm
RedEyeCat (mmalbert)
theKatster
Summoner

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SEPTEMBER CONTEST WINNERS

Elient ~ The 11th Annual Magical School Daze ~ Hot Teacher ~ Sept. 2018 Contest

Winners Announced HERE

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NEW!!

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Giveaway of the Day

Author Topic: Lil Johnny Jokes  (Read 790 times)

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Online deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #160 on: October 02, 2018, 06:11:50 PM »

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.


One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"


When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.


A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.


Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"


The Teacher fainted.

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #161 on: October 02, 2018, 06:27:55 PM »
:tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #162 on: October 03, 2018, 09:39:46 AM »
 :grimdance: :dancing_skeleton: :drinkonus:
We Shall Stand

Online Chiron

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #163 on: October 04, 2018, 04:05:40 AM »
Mommy is in the kitchen from where she can hear Little Johnny play with his toy train in the living room. She hears the train stop and Johnny say,
"All you mean assholes who want to get off the train should get the hell out immediately. And as for the morons who are getting aboard, move your asses 'cause we have to get going".
 
 Shocked by such a rude language she rushes to the living room,
"Johnny, we don't use that kind of language in this house! As a punishment you now go upstairs to your room for two hours, then if you mind your language you can play with your train again."
 

 Two hours later Johnny is back playing with his train. The train stops and she hears him say,

"To all the passengers about to leave the train, thank you for traveling with us and please don't forget your luggage. We hope you had a pleasant journey. To our new travelers I wish to welcome you aboard. Please find a seat before we start again."
 
A proud smile appears on Mommy's face, then she hears Little Johnny add,
"And if any of you assholes are pissed off because of the two hour delay, feel free to take it out on the fat bitch in the kitchen".
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #164 on: October 04, 2018, 05:43:50 AM »
:tearlaugh:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #165 on: October 04, 2018, 12:15:17 PM »
Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”

Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."


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Online thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #166 on: October 04, 2018, 12:16:30 PM »
Teacher tells little Johnny off, “You know very well you can’t sleep in my class, Johnny.”

Johnny admits, “Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you didn’t speak quite so loud, I could.”

We Shall Stand

Online Chiron

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #167 on: October 07, 2018, 04:41:52 AM »
Little Johnny's Christmas prayer:

"Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer,
 Amen."
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Online thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #168 on: October 07, 2018, 12:32:16 PM »
 :tearlaugh: :(ROFLMAO: :tearlaugh:
We Shall Stand

Online deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #169 on: October 13, 2018, 09:48:33 PM »

A Concerned mother warns her little boy, "don't look at naked women or you'll turn to stone."
Johnny loved his mother, and as such decided not to look at naked women.
But one day johhny and his friend were walking along a beach, and saw a woman sunbathing naked.
Johnny remembered what his mother said, and turned and ran away from the woman.
his friend finally catches up to him and asks why he ran.
Johnny told his friend what his mother said, and then added, "and it must be true, because when i saw that woman I felt myself going rock hard in my trousers

 

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