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Giveaway of the Day

Welcome, welcome come into the game area...

Are you ready for even more fun? Well you came to the right place. As you can see the residents are already gearing up for competing in the games.

So enjoy yourself by relaxing in here then wandering around the rest of the asylum.

Author Topic: JOKE OF THE DAY  (Read 101839 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline thelufias

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JOKE OF THE DAY
« on: August 14, 2008, 04:39:18 AM »
To keep the forums from growing to wild how about we do the "DAILY JOKE" in here..........I do love GR's Jokes so she should have fun in here.... :Cup:

If you need a laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers :

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
 
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
 
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
 
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
 
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
 
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
 
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
 
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
 
Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.
 
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
We Shall Stand

Offline thelufias

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2008, 05:26:32 AM »
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet,
he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad;
they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we
leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow.
 
 He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00.

"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"
We Shall Stand

Online Jherrith

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2008, 02:08:16 PM »
A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.
Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
'What happened?' the man asks. 'You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?'
The cockatiel pants, 'Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs a frozen chicken?'
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline MidnightStorm

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2008, 02:44:04 PM »
LMAO!!!! Too funny!!!  Hubby thinks so too.....hehehehehe

*hugs*
Stormi
 Between the world we see and the things we fear... there are doors. That when they are opened.... nightmares become reality.....

Offline AngellsGraphics

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2008, 06:22:36 PM »
That's why cars should run on alchohol.

Offline AngellsGraphics

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2008, 03:02:20 AM »
 :(ROFLMAO: :(ROFLMAO: :(ROFLMAO: :waveass:

Offline thelufias

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2008, 07:38:57 AM »
The computer swallowed grandad,
Yes, honestly its true!
He pressed 'control and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured him completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
He must have caught a virus,
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin,
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves,
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox,
My Grandad you should see,
Please 'Copy, Scan' and 'Paste' him,
And send him back to me.

This is a tribute to all the Grandmas and Grandads who have been fearless and . ..

learned to use the Computer.... ..........

They are the greatest!!!
We Shall Stand

Offline AngellsGraphics

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2008, 05:15:29 PM »
A True Story,
Last week some friends were celebrating their 30th aniversary. The hubby took his wife to a fancy restaurant for dinner. Afterwards he surprised her with a drive to Niagara Falls. He knew they hadn't been there in a long time. While on Goat Island area of the falls  he pulled over his car and said to the wife lets neck, like we did when we were young. Now it was getting  near dark out. No sooner did they start necking , a flashlight shone in their face. The cop asked for their ID and took their licenses back to the car, they looked at eachother and had a hard time holding back the laughter. After a few minutes the cop came back a little embarrased. He said you can go anywhere but you can't stay here. They drove off laughing all the way home.

Offline thelufias

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2008, 06:26:21 PM »
:tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:  Electric Fence indeed....Good one Lee......

And I can believe that being a true story Angells.....that must have been a hoot.  Been to goat island a couple of times...for various reasons LOL....
We Shall Stand

Offline AngellsGraphics

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2008, 06:28:42 PM »
And I bet you weren't there to see the goats. :dr_ani:

 

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