* * * *

2018 Holiday Gift Drive

Ok, am collecting for the Community Gift Pages and you can follow the link to read about it.

Let me know if you wanna play tooooo.

2018 Holiday Gifting Drive


Gifting Participants

Pink = In my paws

CaliVee

Aelin

Chiron

ali_sen

robkelk

M-Callahan

CathyY

Arts4Sale

Newsy ??


 has extended their offer so now you get 10% off any order -- valid from now until December 31, 2018
 
 ... use this coupon code: FAC0616
 
 Tell you friends about this offer too so all can save.

Forum Directory

 

Main Cell

button  Asylum TOS

button  Gallery How To's

button  Forum Hints


The Solarium

button  Our Gallery

button  Sponsors Showcase

button  Contact Us

button  Header Art

button  Anime and Manga


Poser Ward

button  News and Updates

button  Q & A

button  Tutorials


Conservatory

button  AtticFreezone

button  Aelin's Fantastic Finds


Contests Wing

button

  Contest Info

button  Monthly Contests

button  Weekly Contests


Connect With Us!

button  Banner Exchange


Fantasies Realm Market @ Twitter Fantasies Realm Market @ FaceBook Fantasies Realm Market @ DeviantArt Fantasies Realm Market @ Google+ Fantasies Realm Market @ Pinterest FRM/Fantasies Attic @ LuLu

Twitter - FB - DA - Google+ - Pinterest - Lulu

Voting Booth



Click image to go cast your vote,
 then go
 here
===> 2018 voting thread!
to post it in the forum!

Award Info

    Votes Need --- Award

   10,000 -- Platinum Award
     5,000 --- Gold Award
     2,500 --- Silver Award
     1,000 --- Bronze Award
        300 --- Pewter Award
        100 --- Copper Award


2018 Voting Awards

100 Votes 300 Votes 1000 Votes 2500 Votes 5000 Votes 2018 Platinum

Donations


   

We have many special projects and every now and then a Special Cause that requires your generous help.

There are times when we do a collection to help a member in need of assistance and all those proceeds go directly to that member.

All donations of what ever size are WELCOME.

Thank you.

Featured Art

Merry Christmas

Click images to view

Weekly Winners

SAOTW
Madison © JVRenderer




*****************



TOTW

Time Lady © Jherrith




*****************



Your Art Winner

Future? Past? © eblank




*****************


Monthly Winners

JUNE COTM Winner

One Must Expect Surprises at the Border © rrkknight3



Announcements!

image


Album is HERE


JUNE CONTEST WINNERS

Kythorn ~ The Time of Flowers ~ Black and White ~ June 2018 Contest Winners have been announced details here

*****************

NEW!!

July 2018 Challenge of the Month (COTM)

MUSES' CHOICE
is your COTM challenge for JULY. Contest Ends on July 31st, 2018

Album is HERE

*****************

Weekly Competitions

Your Art

Giveaway of the Day

Welcome, welcome come into the game area...

Are you ready for even more fun? Well you came to the right place. As you can see the residents are already gearing up for competing in the games.

So enjoy yourself by relaxing in here then wandering around the rest of the asylum.

Author Topic: JOKE OF THE DAY  (Read 93406 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Online thelufias

  • The Sane One
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 65907
  • Straight Jackets are FREE
    • The Fantasy Attic
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2160 on: December 04, 2017, 11:38:52 AM »
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's going to be hard to do without him.
We Shall Stand

Online thelufias

  • The Sane One
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 65907
  • Straight Jackets are FREE
    • The Fantasy Attic
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2161 on: December 04, 2017, 11:48:20 AM »
What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.
We Shall Stand

Offline Burpee

  • Mistress Of The Seeds
  • Just In
  • *
  • Posts: 45
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2162 on: December 06, 2017, 07:12:05 PM »
Heheheh ;)
Things you should never say when the police pull you over:

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Online Chiron

  • Centaur of the Universe
  • 1000 Grand Roller
  • ******
  • Posts: 1241
  • We age, we don't mature
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2163 on: December 12, 2017, 03:15:41 AM »
The teacher tests Little Johnny:
"OK Johnny, now create a sentence that starts with 'I'."

Little Johnny thinks a moment then begins: "I is..."

"No Johnny, wrong!", snaps the teacher. "It's 'I am', always!"

Little Johnny sighs:
"Yes ma'am. Uh... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' "
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Online Chiron

  • Centaur of the Universe
  • 1000 Grand Roller
  • ******
  • Posts: 1241
  • We age, we don't mature
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2164 on: December 12, 2017, 03:18:25 AM »
"Waiter, take your thumb off my schnitzel NOW!"

"Oh yeah? And have it fall down again!?"
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Online Chiron

  • Centaur of the Universe
  • 1000 Grand Roller
  • ******
  • Posts: 1241
  • We age, we don't mature
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2165 on: December 12, 2017, 03:21:21 AM »
When I see chocolate, I hear two voices in my head.

The first one says "You need to eat that chocolate."

The other voice goes "You heard that. Eat the chocolate!"
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Offline Scouseaphrenia

  • Tomok (The Other Man Of Kianna)
  • High Roller
  • *****
  • Posts: 715
  • There is no spoon... there was... but no longer...
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2166 on: December 15, 2017, 06:23:18 PM »
Two cops are sat in their car wacthng a nightclub...
Suddenly the front door crashes open and a man staggers out...
Dropping his keys he stumbles trying to pick them up then weaves unsteadily to his car...
He gets in and drives off swerving across the lanes...


Got him! Say the cops and they pull him over...
They breathalyse him... Negative?
Name and occupation sir?


Frank smith; professional decoy...

I am not the One... but I am one of the one and only...

Offline Jherrith

  • Doctor of the Attic
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 53932
  • Kianna shall see you now
    • Jherriths Lair
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2167 on: December 15, 2017, 08:09:30 PM »
Hear hear ...
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online Chiron

  • Centaur of the Universe
  • 1000 Grand Roller
  • ******
  • Posts: 1241
  • We age, we don't mature
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2168 on: December 17, 2017, 02:18:01 AM »
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy
"Dad, tomorrow there's a special Adults Meeting at school and you're invited."

Daddy is surprised
"Really? Special?"

"Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."

"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Offline Jherrith

  • Doctor of the Attic
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 53932
  • Kianna shall see you now
    • Jherriths Lair
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2169 on: December 17, 2017, 05:00:38 AM »
 :OMG:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online thelufias

  • The Sane One
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 65907
  • Straight Jackets are FREE
    • The Fantasy Attic
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2170 on: December 17, 2017, 07:44:58 PM »
One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle??? Wait until Christmas!"

Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time."

Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving.

Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were 'pulling out,' and mommy said that 'you should wait because she was coming, too....'

"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna stuck with your $80,000 mortgage!"
We Shall Stand

Offline Jherrith

  • Doctor of the Attic
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 53932
  • Kianna shall see you now
    • Jherriths Lair
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2171 on: December 17, 2017, 08:11:23 PM »
Now that is :pervy: with capital letters
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online Chiron

  • Centaur of the Universe
  • 1000 Grand Roller
  • ******
  • Posts: 1241
  • We age, we don't mature
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2172 on: January 03, 2018, 03:28:16 AM »
Time to dust a bit in here... :cleanup: :duster:

A German driver is pulled over by the local police on a Polish highway.
"What’s your name, sir?"
"Hans Johann Rittermayer"
"All right. Age?"
"53."
"Occupation?"
"No, no, just visiting."
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Online Chiron

  • Centaur of the Universe
  • 1000 Grand Roller
  • ******
  • Posts: 1241
  • We age, we don't mature
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2173 on: January 03, 2018, 03:38:54 AM »
The teacher asks his class
"What would you like to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny raises his hand
"I will follow in my father’s footsteps and become a cop!"

The teacher arches an eyebrow
"Johnny, I didn’t know your father works for the police."

"Well, no..." blushes little Johnny, "He's a burglar actually..."
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Online thelufias

  • The Sane One
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 65907
  • Straight Jackets are FREE
    • The Fantasy Attic
Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2174 on: January 03, 2018, 11:42:01 AM »
:tearlaugh:   Little Johnny does seem to be confused at times....but not in this case....


A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.

"And you, Susie? What do you want to be when you grow up?" the teacher asks.

Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."
We Shall Stand

 

Poser and Daz

Click images to go to SmithMicro and Daz to read all about the programs.

Poser Pro got even better this year.

They have made it easier on content creators by integrating Poser Pro Game Dev into Poser Pro 11.

Now the content creators can create for runtimes and games with only one program!


Poser 11PoserPro 11 Daz Studio--Free



attic_468x175.jpg