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Giveaway of the Day

Welcome, welcome come into the game area...

Are you ready for even more fun? Well you came to the right place. As you can see the residents are already gearing up for competing in the games.

So enjoy yourself by relaxing in here then wandering around the rest of the asylum.

Author Topic: JOKE OF THE DAY  (Read 78938 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline thelufias

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2160 on: December 04, 2017, 11:38:52 AM »
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's going to be hard to do without him.
We Shall Stand

Offline thelufias

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2161 on: December 04, 2017, 11:48:20 AM »
What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.
We Shall Stand

Offline Burpee

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2162 on: December 06, 2017, 07:12:05 PM »
Heheheh ;)
Things you should never say when the police pull you over:

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Offline Chiron

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2163 on: December 12, 2017, 03:15:41 AM »
The teacher tests Little Johnny:
"OK Johnny, now create a sentence that starts with 'I'."

Little Johnny thinks a moment then begins: "I is..."

"No Johnny, wrong!", snaps the teacher. "It's 'I am', always!"

Little Johnny sighs:
"Yes ma'am. Uh... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' "
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Offline Chiron

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2164 on: December 12, 2017, 03:18:25 AM »
"Waiter, take your thumb off my schnitzel NOW!"

"Oh yeah? And have it fall down again!?"
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Offline Chiron

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2165 on: December 12, 2017, 03:21:21 AM »
When I see chocolate, I hear two voices in my head.

The first one says "You need to eat that chocolate."

The other voice goes "You heard that. Eat the chocolate!"
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Offline Scouseaphrenia

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2166 on: December 15, 2017, 06:23:18 PM »
Two cops are sat in their car wacthng a nightclub...
Suddenly the front door crashes open and a man staggers out...
Dropping his keys he stumbles trying to pick them up then weaves unsteadily to his car...
He gets in and drives off swerving across the lanes...


Got him! Say the cops and they pull him over...
They breathalyse him... Negative?
Name and occupation sir?


Frank smith; professional decoy...

I am not the One... but I am one of the one and only...

Online Jherrith

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2167 on: December 15, 2017, 08:09:30 PM »
Hear hear ...
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline Chiron

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2168 on: December 17, 2017, 02:18:01 AM »
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy
"Dad, tomorrow there's a special Adults Meeting at school and you're invited."

Daddy is surprised
"Really? Special?"

"Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."

"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Online Jherrith

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2169 on: December 17, 2017, 05:00:38 AM »
 :OMG:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline thelufias

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2170 on: December 17, 2017, 07:44:58 PM »
One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle??? Wait until Christmas!"

Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time."

Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving.

Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were 'pulling out,' and mommy said that 'you should wait because she was coming, too....'

"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna stuck with your $80,000 mortgage!"
We Shall Stand

Online Jherrith

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Re: JOKE OF THE DAY
« Reply #2171 on: December 17, 2017, 08:11:23 PM »
Now that is :pervy: with capital letters
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

 

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